Street Meat (You Keep Tauntin' Me)

from by Mike Phirman

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Street Meat (You Keep Tauntin' Me) is available for immediate download. There is no minimum payment required, but know that any money goes directly to the artist, not a record company.

      $0.99 USD  or more

     

lyrics

STREET MEAT (YOU KEEP TAUNTIN' ME)
by Mike Phirman

Sitting with my doctor in midtown.
Just had a check-up, he's breaking it down:

"No more taking the train", says the doc to me.
"You've got to walk a lot more, and more importantly,
you've got to pay attention to what you eat.
Less meat or your heart is going to cease to beat.
If you see a street cart, just keep moving on,
or this time next year, you'll be dead and gone."

Great.

So I step out of the door and already it starts:
I'm getting picked on by the smells from the street carts.
"Hey, look who's trying to be healthy," they say
"Oh, don't act like you don't see me today!"
Leave me alone, Street Meat.
Man, I'm not in the mood.
Sorry, dude, but I gotta do nutritious food
"It's cool. No I get it. Hey man, it's your world.
Gotta keep on that diet like a good little GIRL!"

And as I'm walking past, I can hear you laughing.

Why you gotta taunt me, Street Meat?
You taunt me
Why you gotta taunt me, Street Meat?
You taunt me
Just stop tauntin' me, Street Meat
You taunt me
I try to move on, but you keep tauntin' mmmay

Oh mmmay
You keep tauntin' mmmay
On every block, much to my dismmmay
You keep tauntin' mmmay
March, April, and Mmmay
"Mother May I?" Yes, you may

There it is, I can see it—without a doubt
That's the cart everybody's been twittering about
Gotta pick up the pace
Make it a race
Me versus all the salt that wants to be in my face

"Oh! Look who it is now! Mr. Highbrow!
Mr. 'Oh Wow, my diet won't allow cow!'
Somebody get him a salad,
he has some kind of malady
maybe it could be some kind of allergy!"

Yeah, alright. You know what?
Nice gyro or gyro or however you say it
I just pray it had an owner
that remembered to spay it
What's next? Make some lures,
throw them down in the sewers,
whatever you catch, gonna throw it on skewers?
Your shawarma's bad karma,
so's your fajita,
I know PETA wouldn't approve of what you put in that pita

"Wow, well said. Point taken. Guess someone else'll eat this JAMAICAN-FRIED BACON."

Damn damn damn damn damn damn

Why you gotta taunt me, Street Meat?
You taunt me
Why you gotta taunt me, Street Meat?
You taunt me
Just stop tauntin' me, Street Meat
You taunt me
I try to move on, but you keep tauntin' mmmay

Oh mmmay. You keep tauntin' may.
Freddie Mac and Fanny Mmmae
Oh Hi, Louisa Alcott! Say, what's your middle name again? Oh that's right—Mmmay

I dream the same dream every night
it's a carnivorous bender
I'm eatin' everything in sight
I'm talkin' even the vendor

I start with lamb then,
some hog then,
some pieces of a dog scraped off of a fender

I wake up safe in my room, but the odor lingers
I'm chewing on something, turns out (yep!) that's my fingers

Maybe I'll just grab a fork and go surrender
Let 'em lay my salty body in a box
marked "Return to Sender"

"See you tomorrow, PRINCESS!"

credits

from The Very Last Songs I Will Ever Record (Part 1), released May 17, 2010
Written, performed*, and produced by Mike Phirman

* features Danielle Kaplowitz, Arthur Feinglass, and... a very special guest

license

tags