Songs to Sing at Children

by Mike Phirman

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1.
You've got what it takes to be a kid You're real small and you like to jump You've got what it takes to be a kid No one understands what you're saying And you get out of bed at least a million times a night You've got what it takes! You've got what it takes to be a kid You're super light and you barely eat You've got what it takes to be a kid You like to climb up a slide and stand in a seat And you can wear a bright red pair of overalls anywhere You've got what it takes! You've got what it takes to be a kid You've got bangs and you like to trace You've got what it takes to be a kid Total strangers want to squeeze your face And when your teeth fall out no one says "yecch" Everybody says "Yeah!" You've got what it takes to be a kid You've got what it takes to be a kid You've got what it takes to be a kid You've got what it takes to be a kid (You've got what it takes!)
2.
I is for the eggs you eat C is for the kangaroo with bouncy feet A is for the otter in the sea N is for the bird up in the tree T is for the house made of sticks S is for my favorite number, which is five P is for tomato E is also for tomato L... why not! It's for tomato And one more L for "That's the end" What does that spell? I don't know!
3.
Monkey chicken chicken, Monkey Chicken, duck duck, Chicken monkey monkey, Chicken Monkey, chicken chicken monkey duck. Monkey duck, Chicken duck, Monkey monkey duck duck, Chicken Monkey, chicken chicken monkey, “Chicken Monkey Duck.” Chicken chicken monkey duck, Chicken Monkey, duck duck, Chicken chicken monkey, Chicken monkey, Chicken duck. Chicken duck duck, Chicken monkey monkey duck, “Chicken Monkey Duck?” Chicken duck. Monkey duck duck: Chicken chicken, monkey, Chicken, monkey monkey, Chicken Monkey. Chicken chicken monkey? Chicken, monkey monkey, “Chicken Monkey Duck.” Chicken chicken, monkey, “Chicken Monkey Duck.” Chicken chicken, duck. Chicken Monkey, monkey, Chicken Monkey—chicken duck. Duck, Chicken Monkey, Chicken chicken monkey, chicken. Duck duck, Chicken chicken, duck. Chicken, monkey monkey, Chicken! Duck duck, Chicken Monkey, Chicken chicken, monkey. Chicken Chicken (monkey monkey), Chicken monkey, “Chicken Monkey Duck.” Chicken chicken chicken, Monkey monkey, Chicken Monkey: Duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck, “Goose.”
4.
5.
The corn makes a flake for the breakfast The fruit makes a shake for the breakfast The flour and the baking soda makes a batter and the batter makes a pancake for the breakfast (the batter makes a pancake for the breakfast) The leaf makes a tea for the breakfast The bean makes a coffee for the breakfast The seed makes a bush, bush makes a berry, and the berry makes a jelly for the breakfast "The seed makes a jelly for the breakfast?" Well, the seed makes a bush, bush makes a berry, and the berry makes a jelly for the breakfast (the seed makes a jelly for the breakfast) The poppy makes a roll for the breakfast The potter makes a bowl for the breakfast The bakers bake a big, brown bread, take a blade and slice it up small for the breakfast (the baker makes it small for the breakfast) The pig makin' bacon for the breakfast The pumpernickel make a bagel for the breakfast The chicken makes a egg and the egg makes a chicken and the chicken makes a egg and the egg makes a chicken and the chicken make a egg and the egg make a chicken and the chicken make a egg for the breakfast... for the breakfast... for the breakfast! Do do do do do do do do do do do Everybody wanna know what's in the breakfast What makes the breakfast? Do do do do do do do do do do do "Lunch and dinner, too?" Eh. The grain makes O's for the breakfast Pit makes avocados for the breakfast The tomatoes and the huevos and the chorizo make burritos for the breakfast (yo make a burrito for the breakfast) Take honey from the bees for the breakfast Take salt from the seas for the breakfast The farmer raise a cow and the cow make milk, and the milk make cheese for the breakfast "The farmer makes cheese for the breakfast?" Well, the farmer raise a cow, the cow makes milk, and the milk make cheese for the breakfast (the farmer makes cheeeeese for the breakfast) The O makes J for the breakfast Dough makes a beignet for the breakfast The mama says, "Stay," gives the food away, but the café make you pay for the breakfast (Mama say don't you pay for breakfast) The grease makes a donut for the breakfast The trees make coconut for the breakfast The gravity makes a sun and the sun makes a heat and the heat makes a cloud and the cloud makes rain and the rain makes a field and the field makes a oat and the oat makes granola for the breakfast... for the bre- "Wait, the GRAVITY makes GRANOLA for the BREAKFAST?" Well... YES. Do do do do do do do do do do do Everybody wanna know what's in the breakfast What makes the breakfast? Do do do do do do do do do do do "What's in sausage?" Mmmm... don't ask. But I know the oven makes heat for the breakfast The wood makes a seat for the breakfast The shredder shreds wheat for the breakfast A little sugar makes it sweet for the breakfast The cow and the pig and the goat and the goose and the hog and the horse and the mouse and the moose and the dog and the cat and the bird and the bat Everybody's gonna eat for the breakfast "What about the ghost?" The ghost eats nothing for the breakfast "The ghost eats nothing for the breakfast?!" Uh... the ghost eats toast for the breakfast YEAH!  THE GHOST EATS TOAST FOR THE BREAKFAST! Sure... the ghost eats toast for the breakfast! Everybody knows that the ghost eats the toast for the breakfast! Everybody knows that the ghost eats toast for the breakfast (the ghost eats toast) Everybody knows that ghosts eat toast for the breakfast (the ghost eats toast) Everybody knows that the ghost eats toast for the breakfast (the ghost eats toast) Everybody knows Everybody knows And everybody wants to know: What makes the breakfast?
6.
cat cat frog frog wild boar wild boar lion lion (repeat x3) cat cat frog frog wild boar boar EVERYBODY BOUNCE LIKE A bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny BUNNY kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten... grows up to be a cat cat frog frog wild boar wild boar lion lion cat cat frog frog wild boar wild boar got a piggy nose like a bat bat or a hog hog not a crocodile crocodile nor an orca bat bat hog hog crocodile crocodile JUMP OUT OF THE WATER LIKE A dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin dolphin cat CAT! frog FROG! wild boar LION! cat cat frog frog wild boar lion cat cat frog frog wild boar (wild boooooar) lion cat cat frog frog wild boar lion CAT CAT FROG FROG WILD BOAR WILD BOAR [sound of a huge, powerful lion roaring (unless that's too expensive to get in which case it'll probably just me making a little "rar" sound)]
7.
The Day 01:14
Good morning, good morning Good morning, good morning Good morning, good morning and open the eyes Good morning, good morning get out of the bed Good morning, good morning go down to the kitchen for Beans & eggs and beans & eggs and eggs & beans and Beans & eggs and beans & eggs and milk & tea and Beans & eggs and beans & eggs and oil & butter and Beans & eggs and beans & eggs tomatoes & toast and out the door to Run & ride and run & ride and ride and run and Run & ride and run & ride on heels & wheels and Run & ride and run & ride and eat a burrito and Run & ride and run & ride go back inside to Take a nap and take a nap and take a nap Take a nap and take a nap and *SNORE* Take a nap and take a nap and take a nap Take a nap and take a nap and take a nap and waking up to Bounce & jump and bounce & jump and jump & bounce and Bounce & jump and bounce & jump and jump in a puddle and Bounce & jump and bounce & jump and +BOING BOING+ Bounce & jump and bounce & jump go in and sit down for Carrots & broccoli, carrots & broccoli broccoli carrots and Carrots & broccoli, carrots & broccoli rice & fish Carrots & broccoli, carrots & broccoli broccoli carrots and Carrots & broccoli, carrots & broccoli finish it all and get ICE CREAM! Read a book and read a book and soak in the bubbles Read a book and read a book and clean the teeth Read a book and read a book get under the covers and Sing a song and sing a song Turn out the light Good night!
8.
9.
Armpits 01:40
Little eyes, little nose Little legs, little toes Little shoulders, little elbows, just below armpits Little ears, little hips Little fingers, little fingertips Little sides, little ribs, just below armpits! [Dance it out] Little leg, little shin Little cheeks, little chin Little hair, little skin, on little ARMPITS! Little pinky, little thumb Little back, little bum Little calves, little tummy, just below ARMPITS!! WAIT! Stop tickling me! You clearly have the advantage. But one day, I'll be big and strong, and I will- Little ankles, little knees Little that, little these Little pat, little squeeze, and little... Little head, little face Little neck, little waist Little hand, little other hand hanging from... (Run for it!) ARMPITS!!!
10.
The banana said "Whoops!" and it fell on the floor And everybody said, "Hey, pick banana up, or if it was on purpose let it stay lying down." "I think banana didn't mean to fall," said a clown. "And this is just a thing that you are guessing?" asked a crow. "Actually, it's not—I said, 'I think,' but meant, 'I know.' See just before banana had its slipping accident, It said a word that let me know this wasn't what was meant. When the thing you do's intended, 'Whoops!' ain't what you say. You'd go, 'Oh Good!' or 'Great!' or 'Nice!' or 'Fine!' or just 'Ok!' And so I posit to you all that we should help it stand. We're duty bound to circle round and lend our friend a hand." But when they turned to help their pal, they saw no sign of it. "We spoke too long, banana's gone." 'Twas true—banana split.
11.
In Your Biz 03:31
Hey, you know what would be fun? Let’s go out into the neighborhood and find out what people do. It’s time to play “What’s in Your Biz!" Hey, neighborhood scientist! What’s in YOUR biz? "My biz?" Yeah, like what’s going on in your world? In your business? "Oh, well science" There is science in your biz There is science in your biz There is science in your biz There is science in your biz There is science in your biz There is science in your biz Hey, gardener! What’s in YOUR biz? (shouting) "My what?!" Your biz! "Bliz?" BIZ! Can you turn that off? (turns off music) No, not the music! The weed whacker. (Music on, weed whacker off) OK! Garder, what’s in your biz? "Weed whackin’?" Nice! There’s whackin' weeds in your biz There’s whackin' weeds in your biz There’s weed whackin' in your biz There’s whackin' weeds in your biz There’s whackin' weeds in your biz There’s weed whackin' in your biz Hey, person in a movie theater! What’s in YOUR biz? “Shhhh!" I'm sorry, say that again? "SHHH." Oh! There's "SHHH" in your biz There's "SHHH" in your biz There's "SHHH" in your biz There's "SHHH" in your biz There's "SHHH" in your biz There's "SHHH" in your biz Movin' on! Hopefully to somewhere a little less cranky... Hey, doctor performing surgery in a hospital! What’s in YOUR biz? “Sir, you cannot be in here. You need to leave right now.” There’s making me leave in your biz There’s making me leave in your biz There’s kicking me out of your biz There’s making me leave in your biz There’s making me leave in your biz There’s removing me from your biz No need to push! I’m on my way! Hey look it’s a fire truck. I’d love to ask what’s in their biz, but they’re probably way too busy to st— There’s fire in our biz There’s fire in our biz There’s fire in our biz (and rescue!) There’s fire in our biz There’s fire in our biz There’s fire in our biz And heroism... WOW. Well, time for one more. Hey little boy! How old are you? "I'm four." Four years old, you’re so big! What’s in YOUR biz? "Playing the marimba" You play the marimba—oh, that’s so cute. You want to play a little of it for me? "Ok" Yeah? OK, I’ll count you in. Ready? One, tw— * * * marimba solo * * * Bro! You're a LEGEND! High five! /CRACK/ OW! "You want me to play more?" I'd love to but the bit's over. We gotta end the song. And I think you just broke my hand. "But what's in your biz?" What's in MY biz? Isn't it obvious??? There’s in your biz in my biz There’s in your biz in my biz There’s in your biz in my biz There’s in your biz in my biz There’s in your biz in my biz There's your biz in my biz “OUR BIZ IS IN HIS BIZ” Your biz is in my bi— "SHHHHHH!!"
12.
13.
You're beef, you're pork, and you're bread crumbs You're garlic, you're salt, and you're onion You're a little cheesy cause there is cheese in you You're a little eggy cause there's an egg or two I put it all in a bowl and mix you through and through and through and through I form you in my hand I throw you in a pan I turn the flame up and it's time To dance, little meatball Dance (a)round, little meatball Dance like you own this town, little meatball Shake your ground round around, little meatball Get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready, NOW! Dance, little meatball, dance (dance, little meatball) Dance, little meatball, dance (dance, little meatball) Dance, little meatball, dance (dance, little meatball) Dance, little meatball, dance! You're hip, you're hot, and you're ready You've reached the top of spaghetti You smell a bit like a meaty bowl of stew You've got a million bumps all over you You're so much more than a greasy little sphere You're a greasy little superstar You are glistening But are you listening cause, meatball, here's the thing: It's time... To dance, little meatball Dance (a)round, little meatball Come on, jump up and down, little meatball You are a quarter pound, little meatball Here we go now, 1... 2... 1-2-3-COME ON! Dance, little meatball, dance (dance, little meatball) Dance, little meatball, dance (dance, little meatball) Dance, little meatball, dance (dance, little meatball) Dance, little meatball, dance! Meatballs! All over the world! Italian! Swedish! German! ¡Albondigas! Chef Boyardee! IKEA! What the heck! Matzah balls, get in there! Let me see you move! FADE OUT!!
14.
It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way It's never (never) It's never (never) It's never (never) It's never never No. No. No. No. Never (never) Never (never) No. No. No. No. Not. A. Chance. It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way (no no way... NO!) It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way [are you still reading these?] It's never never never never never gonna happen No, no way It's never never never never never gonna happen Never never never never never gonna happen It's never never never never never gonna happen No... No...
15.
16.
Shhh... Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby is going to sleep Little baby's going to sleep someday
17.
Diaper Song 02:00
I look at you, you look at me We take your diaper off so we can see If there's anything that needs to be cleaned And, nope, you got no poop, you got no pee I look at you, you look at me We take your diaper off so we can see If there's anything that needs to be cleaned And, nope, you got no poop... but you got some pee I look at you, you look at me We take your diaper off so we can see If there's anything that needs to be cleaned And- OOOHHH UCCCHHH Kid... You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the poop You got the poop, you got the poop You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the poop (you got the poop) You got the WHAT? (you got the...) Poop (poop) Poop (poop) Poop (poop) Poop (poop) Poooooooooooooop SO MUCH. Poooooooooooooooooooooooooop
18.
You can be an astronaut You can be a big robot You can be a cop or not The choice is up to you You've got a special place inside Where nothing is too strange to hide Rocks can talk "They can?" Nope! I lied! And so can you when you choose to 'cause You can use your imagination Swing away cause you can't miss You can use your imagination To come up with cool thoughts like this: a worm with wings AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you could look within your mind What's the weirdest thing you'd find? A picture of some ham that's signed, "All the best, Some Ham" Use it to explore the deep Use it to name your horse Phillipe "Ewes" is another way to say "sheep" Now that power's in your hands (power's in your hands) You can be a team of cars and planes from outer space And when there's danger they transform into Vegetables (Vegetables!) (Vegetables!) * * *carrots and broccoli* * * You can use your imagination You don't need to waste a wish You can use your imagination To come up with cool thoughts like thish: a bowling ball driving a dump truck ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can soar on the wings of a flightless bird You can snore louder than anyone has ever heard [seismic snore] Wake up! Your! I-magination I-MA-gination Ima-GI-nation Imagi-NATION I-magination I-MA-gination Imagi-NATION Imagina-TION (You can... use your... imagination) You can use your imagination Possibilities are possible! You can use your imagination To come up with cool thoughts like this: a language that only uses the letters 'D' and 'P', and when they say, "D d d d d d pp d ddd pppp d p d p d p d ddd pppp p pppp p dd p p p p p," they're saying: You can use your imagination The song is done that's all there is But you can use your imagination to come up with cool songs (come up with cool songs) come up with cool songs! like! this!

about

NOT ONLY should this be a fun album to listen to while walking, driving, or rollerskating, if you start reading Virgil's "Aeneid" right when the first cymbal crashes, the coincidences are craaaaaaazy!

credits

released May 17, 2018

For Milo & Eli

All songs written, produced, and performed by Mike Phirman

With...

YOU'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES
Milo Phirman as "Kid Who, It Turns Out, Has What It Takes"

WHAT MAKES THE BREAKFAST
Additional Vocals by Angel Moore-Tanksley

ARMPITS
Additional Vocals by Dannah Phirman

BANANA SAID WHOOPS
Vocals by Dannah Phirman

IN YOUR BIZ
Dannah Phirman as Neighborhood Scientist
Paul Cherwick as Gardener
Danielle Schneider as Doctor
Eli Phirman as Little Marimbist

DANCE, LITTLE MEATBALL, DANCE
Additional Vocals by Diana Feria
Mixed by Justin Hergett

NEVER GONNA HAPPEN
Milo Phirman as Little Waffle Wanter

BABY IS GOING TO SLEEP
Eli Phirman as a baby as A Baby

USE YOUR IMAGINATION
Drums by Tony Thaxon
Drums recorded by Frankie Siragusa at theLAB Studio
Additional Vocals by Theresa Patten-Koeckert
Spanish Voiceover by Rafael Sigler
"Awesome!!" & "Alright!!" by Milo, Eli, Dannah, and Kate Micucci

HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES? (INTERSTITIALS)
Rollie Cherwick (Doctor), Jenny Betts & Noelle Zodo (Park), Marcus Tanksley (Mall), and Marcus Tanksley Jr. (Rain)

Mastered by Patricia Sullivan at Bernie Grundman Mastering, Hollywood, CA

Album Cover by Little Friends of Printmaking


THANK YOU TO:
Dannah Phirman, without whom none of this (nor Milo nor Eli) would be here, Ma!, Dad, The Tanksley family, "Weird Al" Yankovic, My SiriusXM KIDS PLACE LIVE! family: Mindy Thomas + Kenny Curtis + Jack Foreman + Tori Kerr + Christina Piazza, Robbie Schaefer (for bringing me into the world of kid music), Billy, James, Cindy, and Izzy, Steve & Beth Callaghan, Chris Hardwick, Paul & Storm, Ben Acker, Todd Cooper, Kate Micucci, Riki Lindhome, Ken Marino, Andrew & Polly, Jason Charles Miller, John Ross Bowie and Jamie Denbo, Ken Plume, Ethan Ulman, Full Van Fun, and Graham Cochrane at recordingrevolution.com for upping my studio game

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